John Mulaney Fights Three Teenage Boys on Everybody’s Live Finale: ‘Is This Legal?’

“It’s not assault, we know that. And we’re vetting every step of it,” the comedian continued. “I’ve been led to believe that if it’s for TV, it’s a lawful practice.”

This was all in setup to one of the most epic and unlikely live fights in television history — a skinny comedian versus three teenagers. After teasing it for weeks, Mulaney actually pulled it off, with the live fight going down on Wednesday’s Season 1 finale.

But was it worth the hype?

According to the host, it all started with the viral meme about whether or not 100 men could beat one gorilla in a fight. “It has prompted a debate in our writers’ room about whether three 14-year-old boys could beat me up,” Mulaney said last month on his show.

And with that, the comic and his team were off to the races to set up one of the most ridiculous moments in TV history. After weeks of anticipation, Mulaney made it official on the finale, announcing, “I will fight three 14-year-olds in a fight to the death, reputationally speaking.”

He built a teen-themed episode around the anticipated fight, inviting Adam Sandler, Sean Penn, and fellow comic Joe Mande to come on and talk about their wayward youths.

As for the fight itself, Mulaney pulled out all the stops, bringing in a referee to officiate and setting it to take place in a makeshift wrestling ring.

Honestly, they probably spent way more time and effort on the setup for this showdown than the actual fight itself took. We’ll generously call it seconds of entertainment.

The three 14-year-old teens, revealed only by their first names for legal reasons as Ben, Jacob, and Adarsh, wasted no time ganging up on Mulaney. There were rules to follow, which included not hitting the comedian in his money-maker a.k.a. his face.

Other rules, as noted by IndieWire’s blow-by-blow coverage, included no punching, kicking, biting, gouging, absolutely no blood — and, of course, no hitting below the belt (if you know what we mean). Mulaney’s victory could come if any single boy tapped out.

When the fight began, Mulaney rushed his largest opponent, but the boys clearly had a gameplan in place and that was to take the comedian’s legs out from under him. After a bit of pushing and movement around the ring, the boys ultimately managed to get their man down. With all three boys holding him down, Mulaney quickly realized he couldn’t escape and tapped out. And just like that, the battle for the ages was over — 14-year-old boys one, aging Millennial zero.

Luckily, Mulaney was able to shake off the loss, having already declared, “I feel like I’ve been embarrassed enough on a large scale. I’m not that embarrassed by anything like this anymore.”

He then wrapped his season with a performance by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, which came with its own humorous backstory.

Last month, Mulaney talked about how he’d been trying to book the group on his show when he thinks he was nearly scammed by someone only pretending to be the group’s manager.

“After a little investigating, I have come to believe that the man I was talking to was not the manager of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony,” Mulaney said. “In fact, several sites list a different person.”

“I’m concerned now that I never had any direct contact with Bone Thugs-N-Harmony,” he added.

Luckily, Everybody’s Live clearly worked it out and figured out how to get in touch with the real deal as the fight was punctuated by the group coming out and singing their biggest hit, “Crossroads.”